Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Sometimes Change is Necessary....

 It was a long time coming.....

Before Hubby and I got married, we discussed the future.  We knew for certain we would become parents.  Planners that we are, we talked about what our hopes and dreams as parents would be.  Both of us grew up in a home with two full time working parents.  But both of us had very different situations.

For me, I remember having to take on big responsibilites very early on.  I specifically remember having to wake up every morning and not only get myself ready for school, but be certain that my siblings were up, fed, dressed, and groomed.  I then had to be certain my brother was off  to school and I would then drop off my sister at her elementary school.  Seems like an easy task?  I wish I could say it was.  Most mornings consisted of me having to douse my brother with water to get him out of bed and hearing my sister yell at me  "You are not my mother!"as I did her hair.  No, I definitely am not.  But I had to do what my mom asked of me since she had an hour commute to work before 6am every morning.  Things got easier senior year.  I literally asked the secretary at my school if she had a position for my mom.  I truly believe she saw the look of desperation on my face and decided to take pity on me.  She asked for my mom's resume, called her in, sent  her to get fingerprinted and by October of my senior year my mom was working at my high school.  This meant she was around to get my siblings ready for school and I was able to be a regular teenager.   

Even though Michael's parents both worked full time, his story played out differently.  He was an only child for one.  And his parents decided they would work different shifts (Mom worked days, Dad worked nights) in order to insure that he always had a parent home for him.

So when we discussed parenthood, my biggest desire was having the opportunity to be home for our children.  Since we had one of very good friends and my mother in law to watch Lil Diva. I continued working till she was two in order to help save a larger down payment for our first home. Before she turned three years old, we were moved in to our home and I was a full time mom.  We would make the commitment, even though sometimes financially difficult, that I would be home for her and Lil Man until they are out of school.  

Once the kids were in school full days, I decided I wanted to find a part time job.  I was home all day, and aside the hours that I volunteered I thought I could make a little extra money while they were at school.  My only problem was I needed something very flexible due to the kids unpredictable auditioning schedule.  I could be called at a moments notice to take them into the city for an audition.  Enter my friend M.  Her husband was having a hard time with his current staff and was looking for some help during their busy season.  She told him about me and how I required flexiability and he said I'd like to try her out.  It turned out being a perfect fit.  I worked three days a week, part time, and was home in time to get the kids off the school bus.  He was happy, the advisors were happy, and my family was happy, I was happy.  However, there was one person who wasn't.

The manager never truly liked the idea that I was there part time.  Ever meet those people who do not have a poker face no matter how bad they tried?  Well, yes that was the case here.  Throughout the almost three years I worked for the manager I would always get comments like "well, my kids can get themselves off and on the bus." or "If they need to get somewhere and I am not home they need to find a ride there themselves".  Or a big one "well, my kids are learning to fend for themselves and becoming independent".  All of us have different ideas of parenting.  No one is the correct one.  We each make the choices we need for our own particular situation.  Mine was right for my family but it may not be right for another.  I was always repectful and never answered back to the manager about this.  To each its own.  

As time went by, the comments ensued.  I'd let it roll off my back. After all, my job was to get my tasks done and get back home to my family.  But the work enviornment became increasingly difficult.  Not only for me, but for the rest of the staff.  Some people are excellent workers, but aren't really cut out to be management in my opinion.  It takes a special kind of person with excellent work ethics. I started seeing I was coming home stressed over the things she would say, or the unorganized nature in which she ran the office.  If something went wrong, she would lash out at the staff.  I noticed I was no longer happy to go to work.  Who can  blame me, when you had no clue each morning what you would be going into?

After a very stressful week, I decided to take the weekend to evaluate the situation.  After talking to Hubby, I decided I would resign from the position.  It's sad to say but I know that the manager was secretly happy I did. I was emotional saying goodbye to the owner, my friend's husband.  and to my coworkers.  I loved what I did and I enjoyed working with my coworkers.  But in the end you can't live happily with stress.  

Change is good in the pursuit of Happiness.

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